The Morningsider (Issue 2 – Act 1)

Stored Procedures

exterior –
Morningside Park
The wooded thicket above the lake.
morning

An establishing shot shows us the woods and weeds that grow above the lake. The morning sun rises over the Harlem plain in the distance. A debris hut sits in the woods, its construction and color make it look like so much brush. In the opening of the hut, we see the Morningsider’s face covered from the nose up by his fedora. He sleeps on his rucksack as a pillow.

distance shot

The Morningsider sits Indian style on the rock outcropping between the dog run and the drop off into the lake. He smokes his pipe. His canteen sits by his side, propped against his leg. It probably contains left over sassafras tea. His shovel lays open in front of him like a plate with a salad of dandelion heads and violet leaves on it.

close up

We see a close up of his face with his pipe in his mouth, smoke trailing up in front of him. His eyes convey a surprised look.

overhead shot

We see his whole body, kneeling on the rock, his shovel and canteen now lie scattered from him jumping up. Our perspective comes from above and behind him so that we can see all the way down to the path below the outcropping that goes in front of the lake to his right. On the path, written in sidewalk chalk in huge letters we see “Hello World!”

extreme Close up

We see a finger pushing a button on a buzzer for an apartment building. The label for the button the finger pushes reads “Fuller, Barry”. The letterer should make the FU in Fuller and the BAR in Barry stand out more than the other letters. The rest of the names on the buzzer box should look blurry or illegible except for one that reads “Paige, E.”.

two shot
of the intercom and the morningsider
BARRY
(over the intercom)
Jesus!  Who buzzes someone at such an ungodly hour?
MORNINGSIDER
(to the intercom)
Just let me in, Barry.
one shot

Barry holds the door open with one hand. He holds a cup of coffee in the other hand. He wears a fuzzy robe over a pair of blue boxers with yellow equal signs all over them, a t-shirt that reads “GEEK” and a pair of Alf slippers.

wide shot
barry’s kitchen

Barry stands by the little round kitchen table squeezed into the tiny, cluttered kitchen of a small Morningside Heights apartment. He points to the newspaper lying on the table that reads “Wild Man in Morningside Park”. The Morningsider stands on the opposite side of the table from Barry. A plate with a partially eaten bagel sits on the table.

Barry
You made the front page of the Spectator. Congratulations. They even had quotes from some of your victims.

Barry sits down to finish his bagel. The Morningsider leans over the table, reading the paper.

Barry
One of them said you stole his iPod and called him princess.
(mock pouting)
You never call me princess.
Morningsider
I didn’t steal his iPod so much as … throw it in the lake.
Barry
Fine line.
Morningsider
So why did you call me Barry?
Barry
Call you?! I wish I could call you. Get a cellphone like the rest of the civilized world. I’m just surprised you could read the handwriting on the sidewalk since I wrote it after four margaritas … Karaoke night at Charity’s.
Morningsider
You have some work for me?
Barry
Revamping reports for the big end-of-fiscal-year mumbo jumbo. I have 20 stored procedures that I need someone to rewrite to client’s new specs by next weekend.
Morningsider
Great. I should probably avoid the neighborhood for a while, anyway.
Barry
I’ll say … Say, what’s this whole “This is only temporary” business anyway? … Lois Lane here seems to think it means you plan on rising above your hovel someday. But if that were true, you’d come work for me full time, no?
Morningsider
No. I wrote it to remind myself that the luxury of having a cave right here in this park was not going to last. Nor should it. I can’t afford to settle down right now.
Barry
Whatever. Like you know from luxury. Just be sure your ass settles down in front of one of my PCs first thing Monday morning. Dishy will get you set up.
Morningsider
Hey, do you think Dishy would let me crash with him?
Barry
What? My charming little abode doesn’t meet your troglodyte standards? I’m insulted.
Morningsider
Since my “standards” require me not staying in Morningside right now, no.
Barry
Touché. You wouldn’t want to run into Little Miss Reporty Pants down at the corner bodega. Hell, for all I know she lives in my building.
(doubletake)
Hey, she does live in my building!

The Morningsider looks at the picture with the byline.

Morningsider
Elle Paige. Great. I definitely wasn’t in the market for an arch enemy right now.
Barry
(straining to see the picture)
Well, I’m in the market for a new roommate now that Lily’s moving back home.
(beat)
She’s cute. I wonder if she likes the gays.
Morningsider
You mean the gay enigmas. How many “moes” do you see reading comic books, playing MMORPGs and living la vida localhost?
Barry
More than you know.
Morningsider
I only know one.
Barry
(mocking and a little hurt)
Well with all the sensitivity radiating off you right now, there’s now way you’ll make Het-Hero of the Year.
Morningsider
Especially if I start calling you princess.
Barry
Snappy comeback, Mister. I assume you’ll need some clothes for the office. Feel free to raid Lily’s closet. I’m sure there’s some plaid in there. I’m going to miss that lanky lesbo when she’s gone. And for godsakes, Riordan, take a bath.
end scene
Previous Act
This Is Only Temporary
The Morningsider
Main Page
Next Act
Coding and Decoding

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